Drink and kiss it all away
by mypennameispixienewt676
Summary: "All you need is a brandy and a wrecked up person just to feel that you're worth something" On the last night of their lives, Grantaire spent his with a gamine named Azelma, and they shared their troubles with the use of brandy and comforting kisses.


Inspired with the song called Fix you by Coldplay.

_"All you need is a brandy and a wrecked up person just to feel that you're worth something"_

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**June 04, 1832**

The Musain was completely deserted; the men were currently resting or probably, spending their last hours with their loved ones. Alain Grantaire was not. He was still in the spot where they left him, in his sit with a bottle of brandy inside his arm. He would spend his night probably confessing his love on every drop of liquid, just like what he always does. He was something his parent's created wrong, his family would take pity on him because he was always been a trouble and he doesn't want that. For at least once in his messed up life he wanted to something right for a change.

Sadness was his bestfriend, hurt was his company, numb is his medicine.

"Don't you have any family to be with M'seiur?" he shrugged his shoulder, on his state of soberness, he did not care about looking up to see his intruder. The woman; the voice sounds feminine to become a man, sat on the blank stool next to him. "I hope this sit isn't taken" her statement made him look up and glare at her. She was familiar, although he admits that this was the first time he made a conversation with her. She was Eponine's sister. His eyes darted on the stool she sat upon, slowly, he furrowed his eyebrows at her, his sobered face turned serious. "Why did you at upon my friend?"

It took him a little while to re-adjust, her face was stuck with confusion and panic, slowly, this made him laugh bitterly infront of her face.

"Even if we don't know each other, you don't have to hide from me M'seiur." She said, her hands upon the wooden table and her eyes staring unblinkly on his. "Merde" he shook his head, his lips stretching into a sad smile.

It's not his fault that nobody can understand him. Everybody thinks he was just a cynic. A non believer. A drunkard. A messed up man. Nobody trusted him into something, he always would fail in everything. That's just how screwed up life was, and he accepted all of it with trembling arms.

"I am Azelma. Azelma Thenardier slash Jondrette.I have four siblings, an older sister called Eponine and a younger one called Gavroche, the two other boys named Pete and Jaime although, I must confess, I don't know what their new family named them after-" she shook her head bitterly "I was eight when our 'bussiness' turned upside down. We escaped and maybe, start a new life here in France. It seems as if all the kindness and love our parents gives us were left inside the Inn, and since that day, they were murderous. But still I chose to love them. My father taught me how to steal and manipulate other people, and there I go! Making my father proud!" he watched her eyes close, his mouth was surprisingly silent. "I was twelve when my maman gave birth to our new younger brothers, we kept them for a year. Since we were poor and hungry, without any debates happening, my parents decided to sell them to a wealthy man. That same age, I learned to-" she choked back a sob, her eyes removed from his gaze, choosing to stare at the table instead. "I become a whore. I am controlled and abused by my father and also my boyfriend. They hurt me everyday: on my arms, on my head, on my thighs-" she didn't bother to continue, her eyes were full of sadness.

He scanned her. She appeared to be blue, red, and green. Angry scars appeared on every angle that she moves. He returned his gaze on his bottle '_how can a girl like her be treated in such way?' _he did not know. He shrugged and popped the lid of his bottle.

"And still you chose to love those bastards? Well, I'm not that messed up after all" he poked out his bottom lip and shrugged, the lid of the bottle meeting his dry lower lip. The girl blushed, almost furious, but with her experience of being beaten up and manipulated, she was afraid of standing out for herself. She wasn't like her siblings; brave, strong, and angry, she was fragile, weak, and a dreamer. Yes, she still believe that she will meet a good man, and she still believes in Heaven. "love is a blind thing isn't it? We chose to be hurt just to feel or even imagine that we're still alive and capable of feeling something good" she left him speechless, he was too occupied with what she had just said to even recognize his brandy inside her hands. Down at the very deep part of his heart, he agrees. Even if it hurts to love, you chose to do it because in that one moment, even if you were imagining, you feel something, something worth it;atleast, even for a little while.

She sipped the liquid from it's lid, the bittersweet taste left her thirsty for more. "We're so foolish aren't we? Us human beings, we want the things that will only break us" Grantaire muttered, snatching the bottle out from her hands. "Is it idiotic of me to still believe in happy endings and so called fairytales?" she slammed her forehead to the table, he can feel her lips forming into a sad smile. " just one time. Just one time I want to feel that I'm not alone" she grabbed the bottle out from him again and raised it to the thin air, her eyes lingered on him. "Just one time I need to feel free" he saw her eyes opening up to him, those wide set of innocent eyes that went to different kinds of sins. She tilted the bottle and filled her mouth with the liquid as much as how many it would fit. He watched her craned neck bobbed up then pulled down, the liquid was now inside her system. "I don't believe that you're a cynic. You just shut yourself out to be able not to be hurted. But you know what? You're hurting much fucking more"she was drunk. Azelma was drunk and she was pointing her index finger at him. There was an odd pause, he realize how much she can read him without them talking. He feels the urge to hug her although he think it was an idiotic thing to do. He was not Jean Prouvaire.

"Let's just drink the night away" he whispered.

"You will die tomorrow" she stated.

A part of her was still sobered up. She would not admit it outloud but the man next to her means so much more. The two of them were the only ones who can uderstand each other without judgements. Atleast, for their first and probably last conversation.

"What's the point of living anyway?I never had done something right"he muttered.

He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what to feel either.

"Well, you make me feel-atleast for a little while, like I'm not alone" she shrugged. He was surprised to hear that from someone. Especially when all he did was to share his bottle.

"Let me die with you. Infact, there's nothing left for me here-"

"You are worth so much more than you could have ever imagined Azelma" he sipped a mouthful of the liquid and patted her shoulder. Azelma groaned, her body awakening to rise her head from the hard wood. She stared to his eyes. "you should know that to yourself too" her hand moved to touch his' gently. He offered her a real smile. She replied back hers. Almost to hesitately she leaned in, her head tilted to her side and her eyes staring at his parted lips. He closed his eyes and closed the remaining distance with a push of his lips. They stayed that way, just her lips on his and their hands together. Even if they were drunk, both of them wouldn't mind. Even for a little time, they knew they deserved to feel something good, and that is certainly not in their imaginations.

"Before you die and before I will be forced to go back to my old life. I want us to feel loved" she whispered when she broke their kiss, her hands still on his and she interlocked them. "Let kiss and the drink drive all the negatives away" she smiled sadly at him, he nodded in response and wrapped his hands on each sides of her face. Slowly, they closed their eyes and closed the distance.

The night of talking ended up with sweet saddened kisses and brandy. They slept with their heads resting at the top of the table. Before the sun arose, she woke up with her neck hurting with th gesture. She stared at his sleeping figure for a moment and brushed the curls that were hanging on his forehead. The man looks innocent and young without his thinking expression, the thought of liking him only made her heart sink. Sure she was somehow, feels a deeper connection to the man, but she would not let herself fall for him, since he was after all, at risk. Somehow, in the bitterest way, she thought of different scenerios in her mind, about fairytales on which he would save her and they would live happily ever after- but the gunshot outside made her focus back inside the world she truly was living in. "Goodbye Grantaire" she kissed the top of his head affectionately, for a moment she would have had stayed, but just like what he had said, this was not her story to end.

And when he woke up, he knew that it was his. But he was thankful for her, because of her he found a reason on what to live and what to die for. He would die not just for him, but for her too. He would die for a new life for her to live.

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**Sorry if R is out of character or so does is Azelma.**

**I don't have any plot so I just write what I feel on writing.**

**I'm not good with grammar, sorry Mon Ami's.**

**Reviews are welcome. No bashing please.**


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